Pre-emptive Merry Christmas

Oh, and happy Hanukkah. But no Kwanzaa. That’s right you pinkos, I’m on to you. I know the true meaning of “cooperative economics” cough-Communism-cough. But since we’ll soon have a President who believes in both black supremacy and communism (well, his wife does anyway, since it was her church(Oh wait, that was a media lie)), I’m sure it will be a state holiday next year, and I’ll be legally obligated to give you a happy Marxzaa. Wii. Oh and flame me for hating on the unholiday, and you get coal in your stocking. And you go on the naughty list. And I’ll delete your arse.

On a merry note, let’s all take time this Christmas to celebrate the holiday in our typical American manner. You see, Christmas is the most conservative Holiday ever. It celebrates a religion which gives us our values and morals (which in turn got them from Judaism, which in turn got them from Hammurabi), Jesus, and Capitalism! So please, annoy the liberals-Say Merry Christmas (and emphasize the Christ where appropriate).

Else when. George Bush is a ninja (Fox becuase there’s no snide comments, just real intelligence). Madoff gets all the credit, but according to my mother the real biggest ponzi scheme is Social Security. And if you think about it, she’s right! Caroline Kennedy, or, as I will start calling her, Kennedy Spice, pretty much has Hillary’s seat locked up-sources say. Since relatively good looks and a very short political career really can make you President, she has got 2016 in the bag. Bush has been a bad ninja. Is it just me, or am I getting 1932 deja vu?

Movies, well, they all seem to suck lately, am I right? As far as Frosty the Snowman / Tricky Dick goes, the actor neither looks nor sounds like him, and, God, get over it all ready. The Day The Earth Stood Stupid was lousy pinko propaganda before it was remade-how much worse can it get? Well, you could put Keanu “Stoic” Reeves in it, that’s how  much. Valkyrie isn’t worth watching because, well, how can you get excited when you know they are going to fail? Yes Man is just a rip off of Liar Liar with a different gimmick-and the same actor! Sean Penn as a gay politician? What else is new? Twilight? Do I look metro to you? Don’t answer that. Some movie that looks anti-religious which I will judge without any knowledge because, well, that’s my prerogative. And on it goes. Are there no movies out or coming out that don’t suck? Well, maybe a few, but I don’t feel like getting into that. Just everything else!

Anyway, there doesn’t seem to be much good news out there. The President is pro auto bailout now (when will this mockery end? Probably when we abandon all pretense of being free and just admit to being Communofacist.) and Obama is still God-elect. Well, I guess in the absence of good news, you’ve got to make good news. So the good news is that uh, hm. Help me out here! I need some good news!

Oh, and since the whole “Christmas book reviews” thing was never finished last year, among other reasons, I didn’t ask for any this year so, yeah. Not doing that again.

Anyway, in my cotinual rambling, I forgot to have a point. Hm. Well, how about um. How about I just end this pointless rant?

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  1. Pingback: Marginalized Action Dinosaur » Merry Christmas, Oh, and happy Hanukkah, But no Kwanzaa.